Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
