Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
