Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You've changed since you got that strap on
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
