thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Randomize
