wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
