My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
