Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
