garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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