Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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