good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
