Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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