Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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