Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
