sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
