i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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