Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
