Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize