What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
