For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
