Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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