i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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