glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
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