Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize