ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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