It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
