let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
