I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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