This is not my ceiling
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
