his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Who died my cat blue again?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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