And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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