Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I skipped work to stalk him.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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