Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
