I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Randomize