i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
last night I used snow as a chaser
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
