could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
so let's talk penis.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
