like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Randomize
