never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
