before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
