I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize