I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
