But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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