i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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