sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
