Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
