i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
