Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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