we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
don't judge my taste in strippers
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize