I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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