do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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