sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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