They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
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