drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Randomize
