It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize