But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
