I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
