Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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