I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
