How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I CAN MOONWALK!
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
