I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
