I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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