Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
