On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
