Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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