just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
