Duck Duck Cougar?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Randomize
