Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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