i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Randomize
