I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
