My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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