did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
