did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
