I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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