I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
