As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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