I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
