are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
