well I can't set my house on fire every night
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
