I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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