It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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