I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
You're breaking my sexual little heart
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize