its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
