if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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