At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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